Oh, Brother

Jeff 1986   ~   Joan 1984

My brother, Jeff, started high school when I was a junior so we had two years together at Walker High School. Our teachers would pull us aside and ask how we got along so well. They wanted to know our sibling/friend formula so they could impress it upon their own children.

Once during my senior and his sophomore year we decided to play hooky from school. We shared a car and I typically drove, dropping Mom at work, the younger two siblings at school and then we would head to the high school. I'm not sure what our plan was for the day, or if we'd even thought it through, but we ended up at home watching t.v. There was nothing on but Ryan's Hope and The Price is Right. The time passed painfully slow and we were incredibly bored. The cupboards were under close scrutiny so we were even afraid to raid the stash of Little Debbie cakes meant for lunch boxes. Our day was a total fail. If I knew then what I know now, we would have gone to the Bankhead Forest hiking and to lunch in Double Springs.

Recently Jeff and I spent the better part of a day together. We went to visit my Dad and talked about politics, religion and other light topics. Afterwards we had a delicious lunch and splendid conversation. I love hearing Jeff talk about his family, work, hobbies and church. He is a great father and husband. I admire the life that he has created. Oh, brother, how I still adore him! I asked him on the drive home if he was happy. His answer did not surprise me in the least. "There's nothing I would change if I could."

By birth order, Jeff is my younger brother but has always been my big brother. More importantly, he is my friend. I can finally put into words the sibling/friend formula that I struggled to express as a teenager.

* Keep moving forward, accepting imperfection and nurturing goodness
* Celebrate milestones at least by text, but in person when possible
* Allow time for complete and pure forgiveness
* Speak up even when it is uncomfortable and painful to one or both
* Respect and love one another's spouse and know they come first
* Go to lunch and order cheesecake